My children play video games. My daughter plays games on her iPad and my son has a game console. My wife thinks we should be more careful about what they play. I was playing much younger and I’m not as worried. Who is right?
In parenting, caution is usually the balanced position between overprotective fear and dangerous permissiveness. Your wife is wise to call it because video games are like a number of other things that parents sometimes shrug with a blasé, “I did this and I was fine”: they’re not more what they were.
In many ways they are much better. Realistic sound and graphics, highly responsive controllers, and sophisticated storylines make gaming an enjoyable experience. Today’s games can provide children with innocent, brain-boosting fun, just like Pac-Man and Pong did for us. Irrational fear is not necessary. On the other hand, today’s games also possess treacherous characteristics that parents raised on Frogger and Street Fighter might not realize. There is every reason to be suspicious.
Video game addiction is real. Game designers are much smarter than your kids, and they know exactly which buttons to press (no pun intended) to keep kids playing. This can lead to an army of problems. I regularly have students who can’t stay awake during class admit to playing video games until two or three in the morning. Parents should take steps to ensure screen time is limited and bedtimes are observed.
The games themselves may involve situations that parents are not comfortable with. Video games aren’t just for kids anymore. According to the Entertainment Software Association (ESA) 2020 annual report, the average age of the American video gamer is between 35 and 44 years old. Only 21% of players are under 18. It’s no surprise, then, that game designers cater to more adult tastes, frequently incorporating extreme violence, sex, and drug use into game content.
Parents who are concerned that their children are “growing up too fast” should investigate games before letting them play. Most games are age-rated, but parents should also consider using a site like PluggedIn.com, which reviews games (as well as movies and shows) for questionable content.
The fact that so many adults play video games creates another, less expected concern. When it seems like your kids are playing video games alone, they probably aren’t. Many video games involve other players online. Although these may be your child’s friends, they are often strangers and very often adults.
In video games, it is common to talk with other players through headsets. Under these circumstances, your children can hear a lot of things that you might not want them to hear. It can range from mild profanity to dangerous propositions.
While preparing this column, I spoke with a group of college kids about their gaming experiences. They attested that playing online with strangers is a risky venture. At some point, they had all been asked inappropriate personal questions. Girls in particular were vulnerable to such verbal questioning. This may be because, as the ESA reports, male gamers outnumber female players by 59% to 41%.
Online gaming apps increase children’s exposure to those with malicious intent. According to FBI Special Agent Kevin Kaufman in a Tampa Bay Times report, sexual predators seduce children through video games and arrange to meet them in person where the children are then captured and trafficked.
“You’re practically inviting the world into your living room with these online gaming apps,” Kaufman said. “Wherever people have access to the internet and have access to children, some people will try to use it as a tool to attract children.” If those words didn’t inspire caution, I don’t know what would.
In this case, a little helicopter is not a bad idea. In addition to limiting screen time and investigating new games, consider having your child use speakers instead of headphones. You’ll have to endure the clamor of digital warfare, but the tradeoff will be that you may hear inappropriate chatter. Some experts even recommend reading recorded text messages that are sent through video games.
The students I spoke to offered perhaps the wisest advice of all. They told me that parents should talk to their children about dangers, teach children to recognize warning signs, and urge them to protect themselves from sinister influences.
That would be a rational, responsible and, um, prudent approach.
Jody Stallings has been an award-winning teacher in Charleston since 1992 and is a director of the Charleston Teacher Alliance. To submit a question or receive notification of new columns, email him at [email protected]. Follow Teacher to Parent on Facebook at facebook.com/teachertoparent and on Twitter @stallings_jody. On Instagram, go to jstallings.teacher_to_parent.
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